5 minutes into my search for a my new bag, I look up, and there she is. I was seriously about to lose it. Instead I counted to 10, took a deep breath, backed out of the aisle (because I couldn't move forward!), and went 3 racks down.
At last! I had found a gorgeous laptop bag! Only problem was, there was a brown one and a tan one. It took me a good 5 minutes to pick a color. (Life and death decision.. I know). I settled with the brown bag but I still had doubts about my choice. I proceeded down a few more aisles just to make sure I had found the perfect one. I eventually ended up changing my mind and wanted the tan bag instead. So I trotted back down to the previous rack of purses. But low and behold, that bitch had the tan one in her basket! Really? Really. Out of all things in the store, she wanted that tan laptop bag? Then I got smart. I spotted a tan Polo bag with fake rhinestones on it. It was cute but not really my style. So I picked it up, "ooo'ed" and "ahh'd" at it out loud and acted like it was the best damn bag I had ever laid eyes on. Of course she said, "That's such a pretty bag! I love the little circle of gems!" And I said, "Isn't it?" Then annoying shopper girl said, "I'll trade you." Best 3 words I had heard all day.
I didn't let her have it easy though. She was going to suffer for making my shopping experience not so enjoyable. So I said, "Eh, I'll think about it" and I walked off. Just left her hanging. I could tell she wanted that tan sparkly bag so bad! I felt like I was winning a retail battle.
After a while of silently torturing her, I went and found her still browsing. I walked up to her and said one word... "Okay." Without any further conversation we traded bags like little kids trading sandwiches at school. There were no words, just smiles. mine was mainly because I outsmarted her and eventually got my way. Hers was just pure oblivious excitement.
After another hour of shopping I eventually found a great pair of shoes as well and checked out at the register. I grabbed my plastic sack with my new shoes and laptop bag, and walked out to my car happy that I prevailed and defeated annoying shopper girl.
So my point to all you aggressive shoppers out there like me is this... Instead of getting verbal with your retail shopping enemy, simply outsmart that bitch.
Stay classy my friends...